The Method
Decompressing -> Understanding -> Processing -> Planning -> Executing
Unfortunately, when people try to help, they often jump to the planning stage, usually in the form of giving advice.
“I think you should do what I did.”
“Just go and talk to them.”
“I think you’re just being lazy! Just do it already!”
Sound familiar? Are you sick of hearing it yet? If what worked for one person worked for everyone, then there’d be a lot less struggle in the world. Many people share similar goals, but that doesn’t mean their roadblocks to the goals are the same.
Maybe the reason you’re having trouble at work or in school is because you don’t feel you have adequate resources to study
OR maybe it’s because your expectations of yourself are so high that you’re stressed all night and can’t sleep
OR maybe you’re currently coping with an addiction that is making it hard to even want to study.
This is when giving advice without exploring the situation starts to fall apart.
Decompressing
Decompressing is also known as venting, although decompressing is both a more accurate term and one that carries less stigma. That’s because the thing being decompressed is your emotion. Most people have trouble dealing with their emotions once that emotion reaches a medium or high-intensity. At this point brain circuits that connect to your higher cognitive processes can literally get blocked, making it impossible to stop feeling so badly even if you logically know the thing you’re feeling bad about doesn’t make any sense.
Decompressing or “venting” gets a bad rap because if it’s the only thing you do, you never actually change the cause of the negative feelings in your life. But decompressing is an integral part of moving forward. It just can’t be the only thing you do.